Ambulance Ride~

From what I understand, it's pretty common to eventually end up at the ER with one of your kids.  I always thought it would be Sophia...she's typically more adventurous, more rough and tumble than her more careful and cautious older sister.

I definitely didn't think it would be Gracia...at the ripe ol' age of 5 months...because she lost consciousness and quit breathing.  

Before I continue with the story, let me interject...Gracia is fine, doing great, completely recovered...we are thankful to our Lord for her health and safety.

"I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever."  Psalm 86: 12

We were at our home school co-op, Compass, on Thursday morning.  I was helping with the preschoolers and Gracia was sitting at my feet on a carpeted floor.  She is learning how to sit, so sometimes she still topples over...and that's what she did at my feet that day.  I picked her up and she continued to be fussy.  She's a pretty mellow kid and rarely keeps on fussing, but she did when I picked her up.  I wondered if she hurt something...it wasn't a crashing-to-the-ground kind of topple, so I was confused.  I was holding her and her head began to loll around and she couldn't keep her eyes open...it was like she was falling asleep...quickly...and I couldn't get her to wake up.  I ran out the door and into the lobby...by now she was limp in my arms and I was in a panic.  I yelled that I needed a doctor and to call 911.  The other Compass moms who were there were immediately helping Gracia...some of them are nurses.  I remember one friend saying, "I'm a nurse" and I handed Gracia over to her.  I didn't see everything that happened next, but my friend began to assess Gracia.  Her heart was beating, but she wasn't sure she was breathing, so she opened Gracia's mouth and Gracia took in a big, gasping breath...and began to revive.

This whole thing didn't take long at all...maybe a minute, maybe less, it could have been just a bit more...I'm just not sure.  Gracia was never without air long enough to turn blue though.  She seemed very groggy and I watched her head continue to bobble...it was like she had no strength.  

I completely panicked in that moment.  I was terrified and remember wondering if I was watching her die.  There were ladies who were with me...trying to help me calm down, encouraging me that Gracia was doing well, praying over me.  I heard one friend's voice in particular...and while I can't remember ever actually looking her in the face, I am very aware that she was right in front of me, speaking to me, using her voice to call me to our Lord.  I tried to pray...I was desperate for God to make Gracia all better.  I alternated between trying to get myself under control and losing out to panic.  


Friends surrounded her and friends surrounded me.  Gracia continued to improve.  They brought her closer to me and I stroked her arm.  They wanted me to see that she was doing well...and someone said that I could hold her.  It was very strange as I realized that, in that moment, I needed to hear instructions about what to do...you can hold her, come sit down, take a deep breath.  

I still can't remember the exact order that all the rest happened, but here's what I remember.  One of our pastors prayed over Gracia and me...along with others...how can I ever thank them enough?  The ambulance arrived and the EMTs began their process of evaluating Gracia.  I knew Steve needed to be called, but was so shaky that someone else called him for me.  Gracia was recovering very well by this point, but we still took a ride to A.I. Dupont Children's Hospital.  

The ambulance ride was a bit scary to me.  Gracia was tired and would nod off to sleep and that made me nervous...even though her vital signs were good.  She got a tiny bit of oxygen too.  Lee, the EMT treating her was wonderful...I am thankful for his care of her...and of me.  The emotions and the adrenaline made me sick to my stomach...the ambulance ride didn't help...finally, I told Lee that I thought I might get sick.  He gave me a container...thankfully, I didn't need it.

We pulled up to the ER and one of the first people I saw when I got out of the ambulance was another one of our pastors...what a blessing.  I gave the nice lady at the desk some info and joined Gracia in her room.  We had great care while at the hospital...the nurses, doctors, and everyone were so pleasant and helpful.  By now, Gracia was doing very well.  She was evaluated, poked, prodded, checked...all was well...and she stayed her nice, sweet, calm self through most of it.

Ultimately, they don't know what caused Gracia's little episode.  She was very much back to herself by the time she saw a doctor...smiling, grabbing her feet, rolling over.  The kept us through the afternoon just to continue to monitor her.  I even began to think that maybe it was an over-reaction to come to the hospital...but my pastor wisely shared that it was good to have her cared for and to have a record of the incident.  I wondered if I had caused it...maybe I shouldn't of had her sitting, had I not been careful enough with her.  These kinds of thoughts were scary, and again, my pastor helped me.  I was also able to talk with him about how intense and huge the fear came...how quickly dark and terrifying thoughts overcame me.  I was aware that our experiences with Elijah had made everything extra scary for me.  He counseled me about normal, fearful reactions and gently encouraged me to take the fear to our Lord...natural reactions are one thing, continuing to dwell in fear is another.  I am so thankful for the pastoral care I received that day.

At one point, I was at the foot of Gracia's bed (I was turned away from Gracia) to talk to a nurse or doctor, so my pastor came over to the side of the bed.  I looked over my shoulder at my baby daughter and saw my pastor praying over her with his hand held out open above her.  The power I felt at the moment shot right through me and I thought to myself that if there was something that the doctors hadn't yet caught, noticed, or observed, it was now gone and she was healed.  The power that filled the room pushed away much of my fear too.  That glance over my shoulder is now etched in my memory like a photograph...it is a picture of the power of prayer.  Marty, how can I ever thank you enough?  You have been, are, and will continue to be a powerful tool in the hands of our Lord.   

Steve arrived...I was so happy to have him there.  The doctor treating Gracia did run an EKG just to make sure something wasn't going on with Gracia's heart...praise God, all is well.  Gracia napped and nursed well through the afternoon...medically, she was fine.  Our doctor began to talk with us about our escape plan...we could be admitted and stay overnight for observation or we could go home later that afternoon.  They were so understanding of why we might want to stay, just to be extra sure that Gracia was alright and assured us it was no problem to be admitted.  But, medically, there was really no reason to stay.  I'll admit, staying sounded pretty good to me...except that it didn't feel necessary...it felt like Fear wanted me to stay.  Steve was very comfortable with taking Gracia home...I am very thankful for his prayerful leadership in this situation.  Our doctor asked us to stay through one more nap/nursing cycle just to be extra cautious and then we could go home as long as all continued to look good.  

We walked out of that hospital at 5 that evening...carrying our baby daughter...and I felt victorious over Fear.  I was very aware that I had not mustered up enough courage to overcome it by myself, but instead the grace of God covered me and the prayers of the saints strengthened me.  I was not afraid...and this is an amazing thing...maybe I'll write more about my relationship with Fear at a later time, but for now, just know that God had given me a beautiful, powerful victory!  Praise be to Him!

Meanwhile, my Bella and Sophia were at the home of our dear friends, the Roths.  My sweet friend, Christina, had taken them home with her after Compass, fed them, prayed with them, let them play like crazy with her kids all afternoon...she is wonderful!  And when Steve went over to pick them up, she sent him home with a home cooked meal for our family.  Christina, thank you...I am blessed to call you my friend...your crown got some extra sparkles that day :)

Steve, all our girls, and I were able to go to community group that night.  Even though the day had been exhausting, we really wanted to worship our Lord with our friends.  We are so thankful that we did...it was a great way to wrap up a crazy day!  

Lord, thank you...for our baby's health, for the people you had in place that day, for a victory over fear, for our CG who celebrated with us...we praise you, Father God!


Here's a pic I took of the girls the day after...it was cool and windy and Gracia wouldn't look at the camera because she was too busy watching the leaves that were blowing past her :)

My beautiful girls!

Give your kids extra hugs today~
Rach