Last week I shared that I have been feeling weary. I also recently shared that God has been close...pulling us in and loving on us, as one friend put it. God has really been using our friends and family to minister to us in this tough time...I am so thankful for how He uses others. But He has also been personally present...I want to share a bit about how God spoke to me last week.
Last week was particularly tough. If anyone asked how I was doing, I burst into tears...it felt like everything was unraveling and falling apart. I cried out to God and sometimes I just cried.
I was upstairs with Gracia last Thursday afternoon. I had just fed her and changed her diaper and she was doing her usual thing where she cutes me out and melts my heart. I laid down on the bed and simply enjoyed being with her. She was smiling and happy, making funny noises and "talking". While I was lying on my back, I lifted her above me and made her "fly"...I could almost see her angel wings ;) Sometimes I swooshed her quickly...up and down or side to side. She just looked at me...taking in the new sensations. But she was not scared; no crying, not even a frowny face or concerned look. I made a note of how sweetly she fit into my hands and how secure she was in my grip...and God spoke.
You would never drop her. You would never let her go. She is in your grip. She is safe. She is secure. She's not scared because she only knows to trust you.
I have you, Rachel. You are secure in my hands. You are in my grip. You are safe. I will never let you go. Trust me, Rachel.
I was stunned by how simple and clear His message was. Gracia continued to fly above me as His truth washed over me.
Later that night, we met with our small group. It was a smaller group than usual so we decided to focus on prayer and shared prayer requests. I was still pretty emotional about all that was going on with us...I am thankful for friends we can be so honest with. One friend's encouragement particularly struck me. He said, "I see you holding your baby so tenderly, so safely. God is holding you the same way." (Okay, it's probably not the exact quote, but you get the idea.) Once again, I was struck by how God was speaking to me through my friend...he didn't know about God using the same example earlier that day. I felt God drawing me nearer...I felt His peace growing, my fear shrinking.
The next morning I was greeted by this reminder...from a friend's Facebook status of all places. "I could no more forget them in their hour of need than a mother could forget her suckling child..." This is from Isaiah 49:15-16 which reads, "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands." Wow, Lord...thank you!
I definitely felt like God was very purposeful in reminding me of His care. I am so thankful for His patience with me and His promises. I am amazed at how He continually reaches out to me and draws me to Him...I am amazed by His love.
May you know His presence~
Rach
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