Class of 2019

It's pretty rare that grief catches me off guard nowadays.

But it surprised me a few days ago.

I wasn't undone.

I wasn't a crying mess.

But I was restless.

I cried a few tears.

I wish Elijah would have a Senior year.

I enjoy the privilege of working with a wonderful group of ladies to organize a fun and fabulous Senior Year experience for the seniors (and their families) in our homeschool co-op.  I love working with these ladies.  I love helping things come together.  I love the experience for the seniors and their families.

I'm always aware of Elijah's age...I'm always aware of the days and experiences he misses.  Although, I honestly doubt he "misses" any of it...heaven holds him.

But I miss the milestone days and events for him.

And even though this would be Elijah's senior year, I have not felt sad about it.  I'm simply aware of more time passing since he's been gone. 

I had honestly not thought about much about it as the Senior Committee worked to get our year organized.  It's not that I've forgotten...it's just very rare that grief feels raw anymore.

We have a kick-off event for our senior families called Launch.  It's our first official meeting of the Senior Year experience.

I was cruising along just fine until I saw the Welcome Class of 2019 sign at our Launch event.

I watched friends take pictures with their awesome seniors with this sign.  I even took some of those pictures.  And I am very, very, very happy for my friends.  Truly I thank God for protecting me from jealousy and bitterness.

But I wish I could have a picture with that sign.

I wish for all that a picture like that would represent.

I know it's going to be a great Senior Year for our co-op.  I look forward to all the fun and joyful events that the Senior Committee will plan and organize.

I sure do not expect to mope my way through anything.  I don't believe that would honor my Lord or my son.

This is simply a moment to acknowledge that grief never completely goes away.  I would be disingenuous if I pretended that grief never hurts anymore.

I love you, Elijah...here's to a great year!

If you want to read more about Elijah, just scroll down or go here or here.

Many blessings~

Rach