I have prayed about writing about this.
I really had to consider my motivation(s) in telling this little story.
My prayer is that you, dear friend or family reading this, will be inspired...not by me, but by the Lord.
Why am I concerned about the content of this post? Because some may see it as boastful...am I giving myself a pat on the back? Do I want a pat on the back from others for sharing this? Am I seeking the praise of men that the Scriptures warn us to be careful of? Is it humble to share a way that God has grown me spiritually? Is there a way to share a "spiritual success" in a humble way? Is this a humblebrag...I don't intend for it to be.
I thought about people who encourage me spiritually. I thought about mentors and friends who inspire me, about personal testimonies I've heard and how encouraging they can be, and authors whose books and blogs I read that draw me closer to my Lord. How do they do this? They share life...they share things that God has called them to do and how He enabled them to do it. I am blessed when God uses others to grow me.
I hope that is how this post is used...I pray you are encouraged...not by me, but by my Lord.
Matthew 5: 16
"In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."
A year ago, Steve and I began fasting once a week, usually on Fridays. We began fasting for our friends...David was fighting cancer and Angie, his wife, was walking through it with him. We fasted and prayed for his life and for his wife and their four young children.
Our friend lived in Pennsylvania and we were far away in Texas. We were part of an online group of friends and family...getting updates on our friend's condition, treatments, how his family was doing. But it was hard to be far away when you want to do something tangible, practical...prepare a meal, care for the kids, be with the prayer groups who gathered. Many of us fasted at different times during our friend's illness...at one time, collectively, I think we had almost round the clock fasting and praying.
I have never been much of a "faster". In all honesty, it was rarely talked about at some of the churches I attended. And the few people I knew who fasted seemed like "elite" Christians. Now, let's be clear, my friends who fast never behaved that way...that was just my impression based on my own inability to comprehend willingly going without food for a specific amount of time or purpose. I never really considered it as a spiritual discipline I was interested in exploring further.
I read a book about spiritual practices and disciplines when I lived in PA ...it was one of the first times I ever had teaching on fasting (that I can remember) and it began my willingness to be at least open to fasting. The author did not believe that fasting was for "the days of old" and, therefore, Christians no longer needed to fast...instead, he taught that fasting is a spiritual discipline and should be practiced even in our modern day. The author also made me aware that it wasn't for the "spiritually elite" as I had assumed.
However, I still did not really embrace fasting as a discipline for me to do often. I fasted a couple of times for a meal or part of a day when our church organized some times of prayer and fasting...but that's about it.
When Steve and I began fasting weekly for our friends, (others joined us in our weekly fasts too) it was at a desperate time for him and his family and it was in response to a call to fast for our friend. The cancer was very aggressive and his time this side of heaven looked short. He passed away three months later.
We felt led to continue fasting for our friend who was now a young widow...and for their children who had to say goodbye to their daddy at such a young age.
So our Friday fasts continued...and they still continue today. This past Friday marked 52 weeks.
Every now and then we adjusted our "fasting schedule" to accommodate other plans. Sometimes that meant we fasted through breakfast and lunch, but stopped our fast at dinnertime...I did that once because a retreat I was part of began with dinner on Friday. I chose to fast earlier in the week during Thanksgiving because, well, the day after Thanksgiving is when you eat leftover turkey sandwiches...plus we were in Albuquerque hanging out with family :)
But the norm for us was to fast the entire day.
I also have some confessions about fasting, though. There were many, many times when it just seemed really hard to fast. A couple of times I broke my fast at dinner...not because of other plans, but because of pure hunger. There was one time I remember when we technically finished our Friday fast and broke it with a snack at midnight...that just doesn't seem very holy...it was like I was counting down the minutes til I could eat. And another problem developed...as I got used to fasting, it became easier...almost too easy sometimes. Every now and then I would realize that half the day had passed with little intentional prayer.
Fasting was far from a "spiritual high" kind of experience. There have been times when I've been discouraged by the prayers that seem to go unanswered. I've wondered if fasting matters...does it make any difference? I've been tempted to quit.
But God has been kind to show me of how He has used the discipline of fasting to teach me...and maybe, just maybe, encourage others.
There have been times when I have felt the Lord prompt me to pray in specific ways for my grieving friend. As I (hopefully) learned to more easily recognize the leading of the Holy Spirit, God has brought others to mind and I find myself interceding in prayer for others more. A few times, I have found myself thinking about seemingly random people (friends I haven't been in touch with for years and old co-workers) and felt prompted to pray for them. A few times I have let friends know that they are on the "fasting prayer list"...I pray it was encouraging to them.
On one hand, fasting for just a day, is not that big a deal. I have a friend (a few actually) who fasted for an entire week for a specific purpose. I know of other friends who tackle 3 and 4 day fasts when God leads them to do so.
But on the other hand, God has used this regular discipline of fasting once a week to change how I pray for others. He has caused me to intercede more and to listen for His prompting more closely.
It has been a journey...a journey of learning more about prayer and loving others through prayer. It has opened me up more to the needs of others and it has been an honor to care for people in this way.
I don't know when I'll stop the Friday fasts...I'm open to continuing and right now that seems to be what I perceive from the Lord, but I also don't feel like I have to fast. I know my Lord doesn't love me more or less based on my fasting "performance"...thank you, Jesus! I know I don't earn any special favor or bonus points by fasting.
But God has grown me through this experience...and that is a wonderful thing~
Praying you continue to grow in your walk with the Lord~
Rach
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