David Sacks: A Warrior 1968-2013

Our friend, David Sacks, died of cancer earlier this month.  It is a great loss to so many who have been beautifully affected by a life well lived.  

I shared this memory with him and a special group of his friends via Facebook a few days before he died.

It was Christmas time of 07 when I met David Sacks. I had met Angie (his beautiful wife) a few weeks or months earlier at our community group (at our church in PA) and had barely started getting to know her. David's reputation as a world class photographer was talked about here and there...just enough for Steve and I to kinda realize that he was really good (really, really good) at what he did. We had not actually met him yet b/c he was often away at shoots (sometimes in exotic places). So, it was as we were walking up to our friend's home for a Christmas party that a man we did not recognize also came walking up. He kindly introduced himself and I suddenly realized that here, standing at the door with us, was THE David Sacks. I said something brilliant like, "I like photography" and I remember mentally smacking myself upside the head :) 

But David and Angie were always completely approachable...they are so warm and genuine. We got to know them more as our community group met in their home...again, always warm and genuine. David and Angie...we are so thankful to call you friends. We have both been affected by your kindnesses. David, I especially want to thank you for the times you have helped and counseled Steve. There were a few times that school was really a struggle for Steve and you spoke words of wisdom and truth to him. Angie, I am so thankful for the few times we were able to get together and enjoy coffee and for the times God used you to encourage me. To both of you, our time in Philly with Steve in grad school was the most stressful we have ever experienced. We both look back and wish had been able to pursue deeper friendship and connections with so many. We look back and feel like you two always gave more than you received in return from us...we know that God used you very purposefully to minister to us and we are thankful to our Lord. We know that God will heal you completely, although we understand it may a healing in heaven instead of here on earth. We are balancing the truth that our Lord can heal you here on earth and praying for that miracle while understanding the medical situation and praying for your rest and peace. Some of our prayers have changed, but not the LOVE that we pray them with. We love you Sacks Family!

I confess that David's struggle with cancer and his death make no earthly sense to me.  God's ways are mysterious and sometimes (often?) I simply cannot understand them.  David touched many, many lives and pointed so many to the Lord.  His photography is amazing, celebrated, and literally has saved lives.  Here's a blog post by one of our pastors at Covenant Fellowship in PA who is the director of Covenant Mercies, a non-profit dedicated to orphan care.  Please read it.  And consider purchasing David's book, True Africa.  All proceeds benefit Covenant Mercies.

David leaves behind Angie, his precious wife, and their four young children.  Again, I do not understand, but ask you to join us in covering them in prayer.  Angie is simply amazing...she is passionate about our Lord.  She is fun and elegant, generous and kind...and she shouldered David's care with incredible strength and courage.  I know the Lord is supplying her with grace to walk this heartbreaking road...many prayers for the days, weeks, months, and years to come.

I desperately wanted to attend David's memorial service, but we weren't able to make a trip to PA at that time.  I have longed to be with our friends...to grieve together and remember together.  I have felt very far away...painfully far away.  

The death of friends at too early an age has long been part of how God has drawn me to him.  Yes, death is something we will all experience...the death of family and friends, and one day, our own.  But it feels very wrong when death occurs "out of order"...young families should not have to bury their husband and father...parents should not have to plan a service for their children.  It does not seem right.

But I turn to a God who has walked me through my own grief in losing an infant son.  I turn to a God who promises that physical death is not the end.  I turn to a God who cares for our hurts and counts our tears.  I turn to Jesus who conquered death when he rose from the grave...and I turn to His promises.

"For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere."  Psalm 84: 10

"He will swallow up death forever; the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces."  Isaiah 25: 8

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."  Psalm 147: 3

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall their be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."  Revelation 21: 4

Rachel~

   

  

The Post that's long overdue~

I've started and stopped this post at least a dozen times over as many months...

...I can't get the words right...I'm afraid I'll leave someone out...I don't have all the pictures I wish I had...I'm worried I'll offend new friends here in Texas...I could never say Thank You enough.

I've started and stopped this post...

...because sometimes I cry when I think too much about Pennsylvania and the amazing and wonderful friends and church we left behind.

So I've mostly avoided writing about how I'm feeling and instead have simply blogged about a few things we've done here and there...but it seems that now is the time.

Maybe it's because it's been a bit over a year now...maybe it's because we're getting settled into our new home here...which makes living in Texas seem pretty official.

...maybe it's because my heart is ready.

...and maybe it's because I just got home from a blessed retreat with the ladies at Grace Church, our church home here in Frisco.  We ended our retreat by thanking God for friendships old and new...and I found myself so thankful as I reflected on the friends God has given us.

So, here goes...

I miss Pennsylvania and I miss Covenant Fellowship Church and I really, really, really miss our friends who shared life with us...I deeply, sometimes desperately, miss home.  I miss friends who know me well and loved me anyway.

I miss the ladies who laughed with me, cried with me, celebrated with me, and encouraged me.  I miss the men who poured into Steve's life and prayed for him and encouraged him.  I miss my kids' friends.  I miss our Community Group.  I miss our home school co-op.  I miss being surrounded by history and weekend afternoons spent at Valley Forge.  I miss the beauty of the state and the beautiful forests.  I miss the colors in the fall.  I miss knowing there is an ocean an hour away (even though we never actually went to the Jersey shore).  I miss summer concerts at the Community Arts Center in Wallingford and Rose Tree Park in Media.  I miss July 4th in Philadelphia...they really know how to celebrate our nation's birthday :)  I miss Fairmount Park in the city and walks along the Schuylkill River.  I miss the changing of the seasons and watching my girls sled with their friends.  

I've been a bit caught off guard by how deeply I miss "home"...considering that I very much disliked it the first year...but after that, well, God changed everything.  He really took us to a low place and then began "rebuilding" Steve and I...growing us, changing us.  It was very hard and, somehow, it was wonderful too...does that even make sense? 

I think that I've been afraid that expressing the sadness I have over leaving PA meant I was ungrateful for where God has brought us.  Instead, I've come to understand that the missing is really because of His care for us and the beautiful connections He made for us while we were there.  Sometimes my heart hurts because of His kindness and grace, because of the special people He brought into our lives...does that make sense?

And missing one place does not mean that I dislike another...I mean, I still miss Colorado :) 

Things are good here in Texas, very good, and I praise our Lord for His goodness.  Seriously friends, missing PA has nothing to do with anything bad here in Texas...by God's grace we are really enjoying the blessing of God allowing us to get "rooted and planted" here in the Lone Star State :) 


One of our last nights in PA was spent with friends at a Christmas party.  At one point they gathered around us, laid hands on us, and prayed for us.  One prayer was for quick connections and friendships here in Texas...that prayer was answered quickly and continues to be answered!  We love Grace Church here in Frisco...they have welcomed us with open arms and we love worshiping here and are very thankful for how God is knitting us into this body of believers.  We have friends who don't feel all that "new"...they are a blessing and I praise God for them :) 

And while the scenery here in this part of Texas is a bit lacking, we sure do enjoy lots of sunshine :)

Steve's job is going very well and some exciting things are happening with his research.  We get to spend lots more time together as a family...Steve no longer works on Saturdays and is usually home by late afternoon.  In general, we are much less stressed.  The girls and I have connected with a local home school co-op that is wonderful.  We get to (or maybe it's have to) swim...a lot...to survive the heat.  We even have an awesome kid sitter...no worries though, Jaclyn, you will always be special to all of us :)  And we are thankful for our new home too.  Yes, we know our Lord led us here and we are thankful for His kindness.

I guess it just takes time...takes time for the tearing to mend.  It takes time to get to know people and places.  It just takes time...

And I don't miss everything in PA...I sure don't miss Steve being in graduate school...that's for sure!  And car horns...they don't use them much in these parts :)

Here are some pics of PA friends I am so thankful for...and for every picture I do have, there are many (many, many, many, many) more I wish I had taken.  I am also aware that Steve and I and our family may be personally responsible for many, many, many of the jewels God will place in our friends' crowns...they really loved us well and God used us to give them many opportunities for selfless serving...I can never say Thank You enough :)

 

Steve and Bill teaching the kids in Promise Kingdom!

Kim and Paula and me~

The POD Squad~

Christmas 2011, a few days before we left PA...such dear friends!

Gray and Whitney~

Hanging out~

Friends!!!

Our community group's worship team~

Kevin and Whit~

Our Community Group!!!!!!

Our fearless leaders...Bill and Ramona~  When you see Ramona in heaven and her crown is too heavy for her to wear, it's because of my very dirty refrigerator...she cleaned it to a spotless shine before we moved!

Whitney and me~

Steve and Todd~

Windsor and me~

The Elias Family...Bella still talks about Maureen's lemon meringue pie!

Kathy and me~

The Whitfields~

Susan and me!  I also helped Susan add jewels to her crown...she helped paint, clean, organize, and pack...along with everything else she helped me through in our years of friendship~

Cathy and me~

Steve, Rick, and Jesse

Good friends~

Stevie, Christina, and me...and babies!

The Marones...Donna made the blanket Gray can't live without :)

Roth and Gonz kids~

Tom and Gray~

Metzger and Gonz kids~

Donna and me~

My friend Michelle...we met in NC when we were 24 years old...we're a bit older now :)

Friends!

awww!

Miss you, Colleen~

The Senyo Family~

Gray was comfy with Trish~

Gray playing with Kathy's cool beads!

Worship~

Miss Jaclyn and the girls :)

Friends...Fisher and Gonz kids at Linvilla Orchard!

Funny friends at the Franklin Institute!

The Kalvelages!  Love you!

If you hung in long enough to get to the end, thanks!  To our dear friends here and there and everywhere else, know that we thank our Lord for you!

Let a friend know how much you love them!

Blessings!
Rach~

That's Right, We're Not From Texas!

Howdy folks...yep, it's been one year today since we arrived in our new state :)  

It's been a good year...a year of change and adjustments for sure, but a good year.

Things are going well here in the Lone Star State and to commemorate this occasion I have prepared a little musical picture montage of our first year.  If you have visited us here in our new state, then you might especially want to watch :)  Yes, it's a bit self centered (most of the pics are of my family) and yes, I need to take more pics of us with our friends.  And yes, you need to come visit and then you'll get to be in next year's video :) 

And the song is perfect...totally perfect and I was determined to find a way to use it ever since I first heard it :)  

So, special thanks to Lyle Lovett for his song "That's Right" and Bob Wills for "San Antonio Rose", this version recorded by Les Paul. 


1 year in texas from Rachel Gonzales on Vimeo.


Folks and friends, we are enjoying Texas...ya'll come visit now, ya hear!

Rach

Elijah's 12th Birthday~

"It is the Lord who goes before you.  He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you."                                                                                      Deuteronomy 31: 8

 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."       Psalm 34: 18

Twelve years ago today I had my first baby...less than 2 hours later he died in Steve's arms.  

Elijah's life:  months being knit together in my womb, 1 hour and 40 minutes here on Earth.

In Daddy's arms~

I still have questions, but they no longer haunt me.  I still desire answers, but I no longer live believing those answers would heal me.  

I am thankful for how gracious my Lord has been to me in this grief and the healing He has brought to my heart.  He has brought me to a place that accepts, a place that believes I will one day understand, a place that trusts that His different plans will one day be revealed and I will be in awe of His ways.  

I look forward to that day.  Yes, I look forward to that day.

...but I still miss my son.  I wish I could have watched him grow.  I wish he could know his sisters.  I wish Steve and I could know him.  So many hopes and dreams that are never to be here on Earth...I wish...

...and wait for that day~

Elijah, you are precious and we love you~


 

Christmas Wrap-up!

Merry Christmas!

I pray you have enjoyed a beautiful holiday season...so much to be thankful for~

We sure have (mostly*) enjoyed our first Christmas season in Texas...it's been a bit more relaxed than last year ;)  Last year we were in the middle of moving and selling our home during the holidays...it was C.R.A.Z.Y!  

First, I'll address the mostly part...I always choose the bad news first when someone says, "What do you want first, the good news or the bad news?"

We were all pretty sick for half of December.  4 out of 5 Gonzales' came down with strep throat.  I started it a full two weeks before Christmas...the worst, most painful case of strep I've ever had.  Then both big girls began running fevers a couple days after my diagnosis (the day before they were to be in the Christmas special at church...both of them had to miss it).  They endured a miserable-how-many-movies-is-it-possible-to-watch weekend and were diagnosed with strep the following Monday.  Meanwhile, Gracia came down with croup and was treated with some steroids while Steve continued to fight a sinus infection and then began to present with strep symptoms as well.  So Steve, both big girls, and myself were on meds.  Steve and I missed out on our small group's Christmas party as well...bummer :(  The strep symptoms improved and then Bella began running a high fever, developed a croupy cough, lost her voice, and also developed a rash like I've never seen before, so I took her to urgent care 2 days before Christmas.  Thankfully, it was not a recurrence of strep...she "simply" had a strep rash (Scarlet fever) and had caught Gracia's croup.  Sadly, we weren't able to go to our church's Christmas Eve service either.  Thankfully, her fever finally went away on Christmas day and her rash is improving :)  I ran a low fever the day after Christmas and have recovered from my own mild bout with croup.  So here it is, near the end of December, and I think we are all almost healthy again :)

And now we return to our regularly scheduled, shiny, happy Christmas post :)

It was such a treat to put up our Christmas trees this year, to bake and share batches of toffee, and to make a few Christmas ornaments too.

So, here are some of our Christmas 2012 highlights...

We braved the crowds and enjoyed our first Merry Main Street here in Frisco...complete with Christmas fireworks!  It was crazy warm that night...seriously, it was still in the 70's at night on December 1st and the number of people who came out to enjoy the event was unbelievable...the most crowded anyone could ever remember it being :)  Our church had a booth that sold items to support orphan care...it was great!  There were different groups performing various Christmas songs and yummy treats to enjoy...it was fun and festive!

Historic church in Frisco~

The Gonzales Gang enjoying Merry Main Street, Frisco, TX~

Early in December, we hosted our first Gonzales Tree Decorating Party in Texas...the tradition continues :)  Steve and I began inviting people over to help us decorate our tree when we were first married and it has become a favorite family tradition of ours.  We've done it almost every year...we were only able to host friends three times in PA due to different schedules and circumstances, but now that our lives are more calmed down, we expect we'll be able to continue the tradition regularly :)  We invite one or two families to the "event" each year and, so far, have never invited the same people twice...granted, that could be because we can't seem to stay in one place for much longer than 5 or 6 years.  But since we have no plans of being on the move again, maybe we'll eventually get to where we've cycled through our friends and start enjoying "repeats" :) 

Anyhoo, back to the party.  Steve loves to cook and our party used to have a pretty elaborate Mexican menu...courses even.  As our family has grown and as our friend's families have grown, the party has become much more casual and kid friendly.  Now we usually do much simpler menus, hors d'oeuvres one year, and I think we even ordered pizza once...the fellowship is always more important than the food anyway...this year we enjoyed hamburgers and hot dogs :) 

This year we invited our friends, the Hallmarks...and had 9 children in our home for the party...Bella, at 10, was the oldest :)  Yes, 9 young kiddos...and you all know that only 3 of them belong to us :)  Two of them are pretty young and weren't much help at decorating the tree...but the other 7 were super excited.  I think the trees were decorated in record time...less than 10 minutes probably :)   It was a fun time...we are thankful for our new friends here in Texas!

The decorators...yes, it was warm enough for shorts :)

The girls decorated these ornaments.  I had high hopes of doing lots of ornament projects, but our various illnesses prevented that...hopefully we'll be able to make more next year.  These are simple wooden ornaments I found at JoAnn's.  The girls painted them and then filled in the recessed areas with beads and glitter.  Well done Bella and Sophia :)  We also enjoyed our Christmas puzzle~

  We baked toffee and got it shipped in time for Christmas and made Uncle Chris his own batch when he arrived to enjoy Christmas with us in Texas.  The toffee is always a hit :)  The big girls decorated some buildings from a mini gingerbread village...gooey fun!  We also baked some of our sugar cookies, but we didn't actually do them until after we began feeling better after Christmas...still yummy, though!  Christmas baking was another activity I had high hopes for that was sidelined by all the sickness...all those pretty cookies on Pinterest will have to wait til next year.

My brother joined us for Christmas this year...thanks, Chris for coming to visit!  He gave Steve and I a Keurig...we all enjoyed hot coffee, hot chocolate, and hot cider! 

A stroke of genius that Steve and I decided on this year was to cook our Christmas meal on Christmas Eve.  We enjoyed turkey and all the fixins along with Steve's homemade pecan pie a day early...delish!  Christmas Eve is also my Mom's birthday, so we enjoyed a little Facetime with her and my dad...so thankful for how technology lets us stay in touch!  We wrapped up our Christmas Eve with Steve reading the Christmas story from Luke and devotionals with our girls...a special way to prepare for Christmas :)

Stockings made by my Mom!

Steve and I got the stockings all "hung with care" and the presents all "just so" under the tree and settled down "for a long winter's nap"...except we didn't really get to enjoy a long nap.  We awoke to INTENSE thunder and lightning in the middle of the night.  I checked on the kids...everyone was awake except Gracia.  Finally, it calmed down and then a few hours later it started up again...more intense storms...and then hail.  We all got back to sleep after 5 am...so we didn't get up for Christmas until almost 8...everyone was tired :)

We shared gifts and had fun watching the kids open presents.  I cooked sausage while Steve made the yummiest french toast out of my homemade cinnamon-cranberry-raisin bread...breakfast was so delicious!  We relaxed the rest of the day, ate appetizers and left overs, and simply enjoyed a beautiful, blessed, snowy Christmas!  Yes, it SNOWED in Frisco...on Christmas!  We ended up getting a couple inches...wow!  I would never have thought that we'd ever see a white Christmas in Texas...it was so special!  

Winter wonderland~

All in all, it was a wonderful Christmas.  Steve is still off from work...what a blessing to have and enjoy vacation.  I think this is the most relaxed Christmas we've had since he began grad school...it may even be the most relaxed time off he's had since grad school :)

Kudos to you if you hung in long enough to make it to the end :)  I pray you enjoyed a blessed Christmas~

Much Love, 
Rach